At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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