Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
