Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
