Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
