sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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