I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
