Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
