The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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