You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
