Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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