I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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