You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
