I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
