Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
