she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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