Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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