Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
