"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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