four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
