He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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