my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to wash the frat house off of me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
