drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
