That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
