If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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