Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
