you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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