I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
