Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
