party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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