i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was CRYING into my vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He shit in the fireplace
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
