problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
