After last night, I could never be a politician.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
