so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
