I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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