did you get engaged???
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
