Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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