It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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