I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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