Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
