trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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