Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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