there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
