You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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