I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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