Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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