yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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