No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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