I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
