forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
