you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
