Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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