Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
