Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
